So, you took the red pill.

Welcome, let’s dive in…

Alright, look...👀

This shit ain’t a newsletter. “Oh sign up to my newsletter, stay updated!!”… The fuck?

Newsletters are categorically gay. Nobody wants that shit.

This, my friend, is more like a Bible.

An opportunity for you to learn, laugh and BECOME FUCKING RICH.

First Things First - Do us a Favor and:

Open up your damn inbox, click that welcome email, and if you’re kind enough reply with “hi” so we don’t go to your spam, we wouldn’t want all this free Alpha going to waste right?

Now, What to expect 👇

On Mondays, we drop — “Monday Market Open”👁️

What to expect this week in the market. What the billionaires are buying. And of course, what stocks, news, and market alpha has me erect like I’m 15 in Ms. Bubblebut's gym class. Ah… good times.

On Tuesdays, we drop — “Stock Tip Tuesday”📈

Trouble finding stocks? Say less, we got you. One stock, one ticker & brief analysis on why were bullish - you’ll get an in-depth look on why we pick the stocks we do. .

Thursdays Well, we’re over halfway thru the week right? Time for — “The Shit To Know"📝

How do you expect to become a filthy rich genius if you don’t know shit? That’s why on Thursday, we keep you sharp between the ears. Head on a swivel. On top of everything like you’re in missionary with Margot. Ok maybe it’s not that good but you get what I’m saying.

Don’t buy it? See it for yourself here 👉

^_Winnings
Lastly, The Referral Program

Look, we haven’t even blessed you yet, but hear me out…

If you like what you’re seeing, hop into the referral program and get paid cash for sharing this publication.

Win-win: you bless someone else’s life with Fucked Finance, and you get money to do so.

Each email we send you contains your custom referral link, and as you share it around and get subscribers, you climb up the leaderboard.

(Check the welcome email for your custom link)

10 referrals - $30 Cash

50 referrals - $50 Cash

1000 referrals - $3000 Cash

That’s free money if I’ve ever seen it.