Monday Market Open

The missiles are flying, the markets are rising, and you’re still sober enough to read this—welcome back, legend.

While the world spiraled into war-porn hysteria this weekend, you did the only rational thing: opened the playbook, checked the tape, and loaded up on green.
This is Fucked Finance—not your daddy’s investment letter.
We don’t pray for peace. We position for chaos.
Let’s make some money.

Market Indices & Commodities

Israel-Iran
HYPERSONIC FURY — WAR GETS REAL

Over the weekend, Iran launched hypersonics, and Israel kept the party going with surgical strikes.
Markets? Unbothered.
But here’s your move: energy’s the hedge when the Middle East lights up like a Call of Duty lobby. The oil tickers are whispering sweet nothings—maybe you should start listening.

🛢️ Play energy like it's 2003 and WMDs are back on the menu.

Market
BULLS STILL IN CONTROL — ATHs INCHING CLOSER

Despite war headlines, futures are green again. Why?
Because price is the final truth—and right now it’s bullish.
We’re not hitting All-Time Highs today, but zoom out and you’ll see it: the setup is there. Over the next few weeks and months, a path to ATHs is opening, and it’s paved with disbelief, FOMO, and short liquidations.

📈 You don’t need to predict—just follow the freight train.

Drone Theme
DRONE DEGEN PICK: $ISRL

Yeah, we’re talking drones again. Not the ones flying over Tehran—the ones flying into your watchlist.
Introducing: $ISRL — Israel Acquisition Corp.
It’s a SPAC. It’s got “Israel” in the name. It’s low float (800k) and high risk—the kind of ticket you size small and pray to the algo gods.

🎯 Why now? Because when real Israel launches drones, fake Israel ($ISRL) gets sympathy bids from every basement momentum trader with a VPN.

⚠️ High reward. Zero parachutes.

Technicals
NERD ZONE: BULL CHECKLIST 

Yeah yeah, you want receipts? Here's the VHLA-certified Bull Market Dashboard, dipped in motor oil:

🔍 2 holdouts left: Momentum & Risk Appetite. But when 6 out of 8 are saying send it...you know the drill.