Monday Market Open

WAKE THE FUCK UP BOYS, IT’S MONDAY. Slam that coffee and shake off the hangover. We are still deep in Upfinity and you need to be on your fucking A-game if you’re gonna retire your bloodline this cycle. VALHALLA OR BREADLINES.

July’s almost over, blink and it’s August. So make sure you’re squeezing every last drop out of this market and this summer. No distractions, no mercy, let’s get into it.

AI Health
$TEM: NANCY’S AI PICK

$TEM is lining up like a bottle girl on bonus night: AI + healthcare, fresh IPO vibes, and Trump’s hosting a big fat “AI in Medicine” summit this week where it’s almost guaranteed to get name-dropped.

But here’s the real kicker: Nancy “Insider Trading GOAT” Pelosi is in this thing. And when Pelosi buys, the shit goes parabolic. This woman could buy a fucking lemonade stand and the next day it’s trading on the Nasdaq with a $4B market cap.

She's the LeBron of insider trading. So yeah, when TEM pops on the screener, don’t act surprised.

Trade War
THE ART OF THE DEAL - US/EU TRADE DEAL

Trump just pulled off what some are calling the biggest trade deal in human history. No cap. EU and US—#1 and #2 economies—just locked in the fattest bilateral agreement on Earth.

And here’s the Trump twist: he slapped a 15% tariff on their ass, and they said thank you. That’s The Art of the Deal, baby. Pure dominance. $750B in U.S. energy exports, plus new carve-outs for semis, ag, and autos.

This deal is Big Don rolling into the room, swinging American pipe, and Brussels bending the knee. Markets had this half-priced in, but now that the ink’s dry, don’t be shocked if we rip even higher.

Fed
FED CUTS THIS WEEK? SLIM CHANCE.

Trump’s making noise about the Fed’s renovation budget, pretending he cares about drywall and crown molding. What he actually wants, as he said on TV, is for Jerome to cut rates and juice the economy before election season.

The problem? Forecasters ain’t buying it. Polymarket’s pricing in a 95% chance rates stay locked this week at the FOMC. Trump’s throwing punches, but Powell’s still playing hard to get. Unless Jay wakes up with a lobotomy, expect more of the same this week: tight money, loud tweets, and a market sniffing for any crack in the façade.

Fundamentals
BUFFETT INDICATOR HITS ALL TIME HIGH

The Buffett Indicator just hit an all-time high. Higher than the dot-com bubble. Higher than the ‘08 meltdown. We are now officially in the most expensive stock market in recorded history.

But guess what? That doesn’t mean shit. This thing’s running hot, and if AI is even half as big as people think, valuations are just numbers on the way to Mars. Fundamentals are for boomers: ride the wave, don’t fight it.