The Shit to Know Thursdays

Alright man look, 

Hope you’ve had a cracker of a week so far. Today we’re back with some nourishing shit to feed your brain with.

Market Indices & Commodities

Feature
Commercial Jet Collides With Army Helicopter Near Washington DC

Late last night, American Eagle Flight 5342 was arriving from Wichita, Kansas and was on its final approach to Washington DC when it collided with a US Army Black Hawk Helicopter near Reagan National Airport.

The DC Fire Chief confirmed that of the 60 passengers and 4 crew aboard the flight, no survivors were found.

There are reports that the helicopter was “flying dark” meaning air traffic control and other nearby aircraft did not know where it was.

Either way, Trump is pissed.

He thinks it could have been prevented and wrote on Truth Social that the airplane was on a normal line of approach to the airport.

How the fuck can something like this even happen? Army pilots are meant to be the best of the best.

Commodities
Gold Hits All Time High: $2800

Gold has ripped to another ATH as investors shit themselves over potential US tariffs as a growing stockpile in New York created a shortage in London.

Gold hit a price of $2,815.85 per troy ounce today, beating its last ATH set in October.

The main concern is that these tariffs could apply to gold, which has historically been exempt from such import duties

These fears have led to stockpiling in the US ever since the election.

A weakening USD has also helped gold rise further.

Damn, could we see gold at a price of $3,000 in 2025. Could it go higher? Given Trump’s horniness for tariffs, I don’t think it’s impossible. (not financial advice lol).

Politics
Some Bloke Declares Himself President of Syria After Canceling Elections & Constitution

De facto leader of Syria, Abu Mohammad al-Jolani (aka Ahmad al-Sharaa) announced on Al Arabiya TV (I wonder what there is to watch on there) that it would take up to 4 years to hold new elections after Assad was kicked out.

In a ‘victory’ speech last night, he declared himself President of Syria, claiming he would remain in power for an unspecified transitional period and delete its current constitution. Hmmm. That almost sounds like something a dictator would say…

Well don’t worry. It’s not like this guy has a past where he isn't legit…

Well, he became a Syrian “foreign fighter” in his early 20s, crossing into Iraq to fight the Americans in 2003, where he was captured. When he was released, he went back to Syria to go and fight against the Assad regime. He did so with the backing of none other than Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the man who would go on to become the founder of ISIS. As if that wasn’t enough, Jolani also founded a fucking militant group, which pledged allegiance to al Qaeda.

This guys sounds a lot like a terrorist to me, and now he’s just pulled up and taken the reins of Syria for ‘an undisclosed period of time’. I’ll bet my right nut he’ll still be knocking about, in charge of Syria in 5 years time…

^{_{Thank You}}
That’s all Folks

It’s called Friday Market Close for a reason. Tomorrow, close your eyes and ears to all the bullshit, and open your mouth for a shed load of alcohol. Stay blessed.