The Shit to Know Thursdays

It’s the last day of July so start planning that November escape to Mexico now, because the frost is coming quicker than your broke cousin at a free buffet.

This summer’s been a gold rush if you’ve been even half awake. Big tech's printing, GDP’s flexing, and Powell just told the market he’s still daddy.

Here at Fucked Finance, we don’t hoard the sauce. We drop real alpha so you can finally tell your boss to shove it and your landlord to eat it.

All we ask? Share this heat with your bum-ass friends who keep asking you for gas money and sending you CashApp requests at 2 a.m. Let’s boogie.

Interest Rates
FED AND BOC HOLD RATES STEADY

Rates stay exactly where they are. No cut. No mercy. Trump’s been barking all week for a cut and Powell just stared him down like a mob boss in a courtroom.

You can practically hear the echo of his balls hitting the marble floor at the Eccles building. No cuts for election games. Not yet. Don’t expect any rate cuts until at least November.

Also in Canada: the Bank of Canada held rates too. No cuts north of the border either, even with housing cooling and political pressure rising. Tiff Macklem and Powell must be sharing notes… or testosterone shots.

Economy
GDP COMES IN HOT AT 3% Q2 GROWTH

Everyone and their macro bear uncle was betting on a slowdown. Instead? The U.S. economy just dropped a 3% GDP growth print for Q2, blowing expectations out of the water. Consumer spending stayed strong, exports picked up, and business investment held firm despite tight credit.

Wall Street was looking for signs of weakness. What it got was a flashing neon sign that said: “We’re still cooking.”

Bottom line: The recession crowd just got dunked on. Again.

Joker’s Pick
$GLXY: TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?

Galaxy Digital is one of the cleanest ways to play the convergence of AI and crypto. Two megatrends everyone’s frothing over, yet somehow still sleeping on this ticker. While people chase meme coins or overbought chip names, GLXY is quietly building the backbone that makes it all possible.

Their partnership with CoreWeave ($CRWV) isn’t new, but it’s a glimpse into what makes Galaxy different. They’re not just betting on Bitcoin or Ethereum; they’re leasing out high-performance compute infrastructure, powering the AI boom from the datacenter level.

And unlike the pure plays, they’ve got exposure across asset management, trading, and infrastructure. It’s like if Nvidia and Coinbase had a financially literate baby.

Earnings Szn
$META & $MSFT: EARNINGS MOON MISSION

This is the quarter where AI stopped being a cost center and started becoming a cash machine. Meta absolutely torched expectations: $47.5 billion in revenue, $7.14 EPS, and the stock spiked 12% premarket. Zuck’s aggressive AI pivot is working. Llama-powered ad targeting is juicing returns, Reality Labs is bleeding less, and Meta’s proving it can push hardware, software, and platform all at once. 

Then you’ve got Microsoft. Quietly lethal. They posted $76.4 billion in revenue, netted $27.2 billion in profit, and Azure accelerated to 39% growth. For the first time, they revealed Azure is now a $75 billion-a-year business. That’s legacy-software-turns-cloud-monster territory. And they’re not slowing down—Microsoft is dropping another $30 billion next quarter on AI infrastructure. That’s conviction spend. That’s “we know this is going to pay” money.

The mega cap AI war chest is real, and it’s working. This isn’t just spending for the sake of headlines anymore. These companies are already cashing in. If you're still calling AI a bubble, you're not paying attention. You're just broke and bitter.