The Shit to Know Thursdays

Markets don’t make sense anymore. They just twitch and spasm like a cokehead in church. The truth gets buried, the pigs keep feeding, and your only shot is to out-hustle, out-meme, and out-survive the next guy.

Nobody’s coming to save you. Powell won’t. Trump won’t. Epstein definitely won’t.

So load the clip, size your risk, and remember: there are no refunds in this game, only receipts.

Epstein
EPSTEIN COVER-UP HITS NEW LOW

Trump now says the Epstein files are “a Democrat hoax,” and that anyone still asking questions is not MAGA. That’s right, if you want the client list? You’re basically a lib now.

Even though he brought MAGA influencers to the White House and handed them binders titled “Epstein Files Phase 1”, Trump’s now saying the files were created by Biden. Could the democrats be right about his dementia?

Either way, the whole thing stinks worse than a dead raccoon under a trailer park meth lab. Moral of the story? The elite don’t get exposed: they get airbrushed.

SPACs
$PEW PRICE MANIPULATION

Position sizing isn’t sexy. But neither is blowing up your account like a freshman who found dad’s scotch and a Xanax. You only survive this game by sizing like a sniper, not a drunk frat bro.

The $CLBR ➝ $PEW trade had it all:
• Profitable company
• Zero redemptions
• Meme ticker
• Trump Jr. + Saudi whispers
• Gun SPAC hype + SPAC season in full swing

It ripped to $24.99 premarket. Calls opened up 200%… and then nothing. Options frozen for 13 minutes. Stock slammed 40%+. Two halts. No liquidity. Brokers locked you in like it was FTX v2.

Why? Market makers needed it under $20 to avoid a gamma nuke. So they bombed it down 25% and we got played.

This was blatant price suppression. A good setup wrecked by the greasiest mechanics in the system. If you went all-in, you got gut-punched. If you sized right, you’re bruised—but alive.

Robo-Taxi
$LCID + $UBER ROBO-TAXI DEAL

Lucid Motors ($LCID) is ripping faces off this morning—up 50% pre-market—after announcing a $300 million autonomous vehicle partnership with Uber and Nuro. That’s right: Lucid's building robo-taxis, Uber’s plugging them into their app, and Nuro is providing the AI ghost that’s gonna drive your drunk ass home.

Lucid will deploy up to 20,000 electric robotaxis, starting as soon as 2026. The model: their new Gravity SUV—slick, overpriced, and soon to be completely driverless.

This is a big credibility win for Lucid, which has been bleeding cash and fading into EV irrelevance until now. The market clearly likes the scent of sci-fi sex appeal and Uber-scale rollout. If even a fraction of this gets executed, it’s a new chapter for $LCID.

Fed
TRUMP TACOs ON FIRING POWELL

Trump floated the idea of firing Jerome Powell… and the market instantly shat itself. Futures dipped, algos panicked, and within hours, Trump backed off like a drunk guy realizing the bouncer’s 6’6".

He went from “I’m drafting a letter” to “highly unlikely” in record time. Classic Trump move: throws a haymaker, then blames the crowd for flinching.

This wasn’t about monetary policy. This was Trump testing the waters. And when the Street screamed “don’t you fucking dare,” he folded faster than a gas station burrito wrapper. Don’t be surprised if he pulls this again, just know that markets will swing every time he opens his mouth about the Fed.

Powell’s still got a target on his back… but for now, the trigger finger's trembling.