The Shit to Know Thursdays

Almost Friday, boys. But the market ain’t waiting, Trump’s ending wars with insults, SPACs are either nuked or mooning, and New York just gave Marx a voter ID. If you’re not already caffeinated, fix that. VHLA’s got your Thursday cheat code.

Market Indices & Commodities

Middle East
DADDY TRUMP AT NATO

Israel and Iran hit pause, for now. Ceasefire just dropped, but it’s flimsy as hell, could blow up by lunchtime.

Meanwhile at NATO, Mark Rutte called Trump “Daddy” on a hot mic, no hesitation. Global diplomacy or OnlyFans promo?

Best part, right before the deal was finalized, Trump looks dead into the camera and goes:
“They don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.”
Then he ends the war. Absolute menace.

SPACs
TROUBLE IN SPAC-WORLD?

Since Monday, it’s been blood in the streets for the crypto SPAC crew. Our callout $CCCM took a hit, $MBAV ain’t far behind. Traders pissed about terms, dilution, redemptions, all of it.

But there’s one that’s hotter than Hunter’s hard drive: $CLBR. Trump Jr. has his claws in it, and we all know what that means – Daddy Trump eats too. Ticker changes to $PEW in mid-July. Yeah, PEW – as in pew pew motherfucker.

Look at the other Trump SPACs – $CEP, $DJT – they ran. We are early as fuck.

Federal Reserve
FED MUTINY

New reports say Trump might name a new Fed chair early, just to kneecap Powell.

Whispers of a Fed mutiny are building, Waller and the gang want cuts this summer. It’s all setting up for a Powell rugpull and a rate shock.

Volatility season. Bring a helmet.

New York
YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHRAN

Zohran Mamdani, card-carrying democratic socialist, just won the Dem nom for NYC mayor. The guy’s got a 74% shot on Polymarket to beat Adams in November. That’s not a lead, that’s a beatdown.

If you’ve got money and you live in New York... start packing. He’s gonna tax the absolute shit out of you.

Socialism in NYC. Marx is somewhere smiling. Polio-style comeback – only returns once everyone who remembers how bad it was is already dead.